In 2024, many believe gender identity is fluid, and the "bro" is often associated with male pattern behavior. But in actuality, "bro-ness" is an attitude that transcends gender, representing a universal work ethic applicable to anyone. This attitude, based on my personal experiences and observation, is not exhaustively defined or prioritized here. It's a pattern of behavior I often gravitate towards, which can lead to a cycle of self-destruction, exhaustion, and anxiety.
1. Go hard all the time, every time.
2. No such thing as a rest day.
3. At the gym, bench, biceps, and squat. No exceptions.
4. Got to keep the world spinning on its axis by doing certain routines in a certain way.
5. Work extra hard when hurt.
6. "You're never enough" philosophy.
1. Go hard all the time, every time.
The Bro is an achiever, determined to prove his capability and independence to himself and others. This drive may be a learned behavior or inspired by someone else. It likely began early in life by observing the success and work ethic of others, leading to the decision that this pursuit is worthwhile. It originates from a well-intentioned perspective, with a desire to work hard and achieve more. This should certainly be our daily work ethic, albeit with certain caveats. You can pursue almost anything in life with high intensity—relationships, daily tasks, hobbies—anything that requires time commitment or effort to excel. This work ethic is rooted in excellence, but it sometimes comes at a cost. It's crucial to establish boundaries and recognize when you're overextending yourself, whether due to illness, setbacks or challenging circumstances.
Solution: Set reasonable boundaries for when situations become overwhelming. Don't give up on excellence, just avoid thinking that it's all about you, and what you think you are supposed to achieve in life.
2. No such thing as a rest day.
Rest days are for wimps. Rest days cause regression in progress. I don't deserve a rest day. I am above normal people's needs to rest. These are some of the attitudes that prevent an individual from pursuing a pace that may be slower, but yet more productive and perhaps therapeutic when done properly. Our bodies and our minds are not inexhaustible. Rest is a necessary form of recovery, and does not diminish from making gains. Cycling down and resting can be done with contemplation and reflection, allowing you to refocus your attention on important things. It's a time to be strategic, and allow natural processes like sleep, digestion, and hormone reset to take place.
Solution: Redefine what rest truly is. It's not slacking off, it's not lowering your standard. Rest is strategy. Rest is refocusing on your priorities. Rest is necessary for your mind and body to build up and reconstruct itself.
3. At the gym, bench, biceps, and squats. No exceptions.
This is an observation about physical activity, and what many of us do routinely with very little exception to skip. At the gym you could identify the Bros, I'm one of them, was, is...or a version of one. For example, the Bros go for big muscles first, accomplish a lot in little time. They do the heavy stuff first like bench press, shoulder presses, squats. Then do everything else on top of that. You can see the imbalanced logic that goes into this type of attitude. There is a lack of flexibility and an imbalance that tilts your priorities into doing certain things a certain way, with a certain type of intensity that can lead to injuries and overuse.
It's not just in the gym. This pattern behavior can refer to routines like running, food preparation, keeping the house clean, etc. It's an attitude of urgency that leads to a particular set of behaviors that may be viewed as borderline compulsive behavior.
Solution: Be more flexible. Be more spontaneous.
4. Got to keep the world spinning on its axis by doing certain routines in a certain way.
This behavior is similar to the above description. It's a kind of an urgency that compels us to do certain things in a certain way or certain order. It elevates certain tasks as uncompromisingly necessary in order to keep the world spinning a certain way. This is a kind of worldview that perhaps affects an individual's self-worth whenever certain tasks, procedures, or activities are not performed with a certain level of intensity or perfection.
Solution: Base your self-worth on truly important things in life, not just your performance or accomplishments.
5. Work extra hard when hurt.
This is the Martyr attitude that compels someone to keep pushing forward even when injured or down. It may have been an idea of never giving up, having perseverance, and picking yourself up from the bootstraps and getting things done. It's certainly a commendable work ethic, but may also have it's roots in self-blame when encountering what is perceived as personal failure, then punishing oneself by working extra hard to recoup the gain, perhaps exceed them. But working injured areas harder when you are hurt, or giving something of your time, energy, or resources you don't really have are forms of self destruction. There is a time and place for come-backs, and we should never accept failure (or possibility of failure) as an excuse to not try. Use failure to gain perspective and to learn.
Solution: Be aware of your limitations, your injuries, and your inadequacies. It's just as important to know your weaknesses as well as your strengths.
6. "You're never enough" philosophy.
This behavior is tied in to self-worth, and feeling like you're never enough or never doing enough. Maybe that's true in some cases, and perhaps there are areas in you life where you may need to rise to the occasion. But "never enough" attitude is one that is intimately tied with personal performance, which produces guilt or inadequacy whenever that performance standard is not met. I certainly need to work harder in many areas in my life, and will continue to do so. But my personal self worth is not based on what I think of myself. It's what God has said I am worth... the sinner who has fallen short of God's glory, and needs Him to rescue me through the work of Jesus Christ who has forgiven me, loved me even while I was still an enemy, and set me apart to do good works for His name sake.
Solution: We will never be enough, or work hard enough, or be good enough to earn God's favor. In fact, Romans 8:28 tells us that God works ALL THINGS for good according to those who love Him, and who have been called according to his purpose. You are in His bubble, or you're not. His standard is holiness, not goodness. The life of Jesus, perfect and sinless, was brought to the cross in order to make right the sins of the world, allowing us to approach the throne of God without shame, and without judgment. Jesus's performance on this Earth is enough and complete in the eyes of God. Our life should be stewardship, a kind of response that is thankful, regardless of our situation. Our Excellence is the kind of stewardship for the gift of life that God has given us, no matter our age, our circumstance, or what country we were born into.
I hope readers will find this perspective encouraging, as it is a result of frequent personal introspection which I've increasingly experienced with age. Excellence is a discipline and commitment practiced daily in all areas of life, both big and small. We must not compromise on excellence, while being mindful of its costs, such as self-sacrifice and ability to consume our personal resources. I acknowledge that I am a bro, but I am determined to become a wiser bro in the future.
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